Friday, 30 June 2017

My Master List of Projects | #amwriting

For the last few weeks, I've been decluttering my room and trying to organize my belongings. Those who follow me on Twitter probably know that I've even started making a catalogue of my home library. A project that will probably take me a few months since most of the books I own are old Soviet and early post-Soviet editions, which means I'll have to manually add them to the database. By the end of this project, I'll finally know how many books I own exactly. So that's something to look forward to.

I've also been organizing the files on my PC and Google Drive where I keep most of my writing projects and thought that it would be interesting to make a list of all of my projects so that it'd be easier for me to know what I'm supposed to be working on and track my progress. That's why I've decided to write this blog post and share it with you guys. I have to warn you though that I have a lot of projects and just came up with another one after a short Twitter conversation with a fellow writer Bethany. She gave me an idea for a comic strip, I jotted it down, very excited to draw it, and then all of a sudden other ideas started flooding in. So I had to spend the rest of the morning writing short dialogues for comics and making notes. But I'll tell you more about this project later on in this post. I'll make a list and write something about every project so I hope you enjoy reading this.



Sunday, 4 June 2017

My "Fake" Personality

I've already vented about this once on Facebook but I figured it wouldn't hurt writing a blog post as well just to gather my thoughts and see where I'm standing.

My therapist thinks that my personality is "fake". That I only have a lot of interests because it's a way of making myself interesting enough for other people so that maybe they'd want to talk to me and be friends.

It doesn't count that I've always been that way and that when pursuing my interests I don't think about other people. I'm caught up in the moment, engaged and fascinated by whatever it is that I'm doing. And when I'm sharing my interests I'm not thinking about how I'm being perceived at the moment.

How can all this be fake?

My therapist once told me to do an exercise where I was supposed to "explore" my true self. Somehow she led me to the conclusion that without my interests I don't exist.

And I can only find my true self through mindfulness and meditation.

I tried asking her to give me some examples of "real" personalities so that at least I knew what I'm looking for but she said that I'll have to figure that out for myself.

Long story short, I'm not talking to that therapist anymore and I have no intentions of giving up on my interests. Now I know better, and I no longer think that I won't exist without them. I'll still be there but it'll be a terribly boring existence.